Ninja Squirrels

AUTUMN IS HERE

I know this not because the leaves have changed or because there are pumpkins on my neighbor's porches. I know this because the yearly onslaught of projectile acorns has begun the barrage upon my roof. Yes, acorns. Amazing little time capsules of food and DNA, really. But they are noisey.

You see, I live in Cleveland in a lovely turn of the century bungalow. My home is surrounded by numerous 75 year old oak trees that provide privacy and shade all summer long. What this means for the non-initiated, is that my second floor is only half a second floor with a pitched roof and no attic. It really is quite charming. My man and I share the second floor (AKA "Paradise') while the teenagers live on the first floor. This is usually a perfect arrangement mostly due to the fact that it is secluded and quiet and and we can work upstairs in peace.

Unless it's Autumn.

For all you city folk, in the Fall, oak trees start dropping their acorns and the squirrels partake of the buffet and fight over them. They take their acorns back to their nests and save them there, or they bury them all over my yard. They even bury them in my flower pots on my porch. So what's the problem? Ninja Squirrels.


Why? Well, remember my bungalow? All day and all night acorns drop unexpectedly onto my roof like machine gun fire....




Rat at tat tat tat tat at tat tatta ratta.....

Then the Ninja squirrels chase after them accross the eaves...



bummba bumba bum bumba bum bumba ......

Often , due to teritorial issues amongst the male squirrels, fights over acorns ensue:

Rat at tat bumba bumba tata tata mumba mumba borka bumba bumba ...

UGH

I can picture the Ninja squirrels stealthly springing accross the roof after acorns that have just tumbled onto the roof then suddenly being tackled by the Tom Cruise squirrels hidden in the gutters...

All day and all night. I am woken up off and on all night by the acorns. Always the acorns. For WEEKS. The acorns . I'll be on the phone and suddenly be startled out of my wits by the symphony of nuts clattering a mere 6 inches above my head. A sure sign that Halloween is coming and the Holidays are just around the corner. Nature at its most wonderful- the circle if life.

It's lovely.

So what do we do? To cope I imagine my own defense force of Ninga Gerbils securing the parameter and protecting the borders of my roof and keeping the squirrels from winning the battle.




MMMMMM. Do gerbils eat acorns?