There is no nobility in Poverty

As a woman, I always had a fear of money. Not like a phobia, but certainly anxiety assocoated with getting money, asking for a raise, managing money, etc. I was easily intimidated. When I was married, my then husband used money as a way to exercise his 'freedom' and control as a man. He would cash his paycheck, spend what he wanted, and then give me the rest to put towards bills. Needless to say, this did not work out well! He liked to party and that was not cheap. I actually developed the preception that struggling financially meant that I was more noble that those greedy types who sacraficed morals for cash. Contrary to popular belief, Greed was NOT Good.





I have realized over the years that this belief system hurt me and my children terribly. If I had trusted myself to learn about credit and managing a budget earlier in my life, I would have more saved up for my retirement and my kid's college. It is GOOD for a woman to have control of her own finances !





I recently read an interesting article on MSN.com about a family who successfully paid off over $100, 000 in credit card bills. For the entire article : http://http//www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32884378/ns/business-reinventing_america/


How does that happen? It's is easier than you think to rack up huge credit card bills. If you were like me, my parents didn't talk about money and I never had any class in High school that taught how credit worked- I had to figure it out on my own over the years and honestly, I was never good at it. It is so abstract. What I mean is that because we don't pay for anything in cash anymore, true cost is not as noticable. When you are busy and just getting by, it is more comfortable to push things off in the back of your mind to deal with later.


When I got divorced , money was tight. REALLY tight. This meant that occasionally I had to charge things that I normally would have paid for from my checking account. Like groceries. By the way: You know you have a problem if you are charging groceries on your Visa.





As a single mom I had to rely on my own ability to support the 3 kids since my ex could not/would not pay child support. As a result, my own credit card debt skyrocked. It took me years to figure out how to manage my money and to be proud of my money. My kids are teenagers now and I have a lovely man under my roof, but I still remember those early years when I had to choose between money for gas to get to work or money for lunch. If I had known more I would not have been afraid and the quality of life for my family would have been better. I have tried to teach my kids about the rules of engagement when it comes to money and here are some words of wisdom:


1) Get a home accounting software like Quicken and then USE IT. This software shows you what your net worth is- savings and assets minus debt. This is a visual way to quickly see where you are each day. List all your credit cards with the credit limit, Percentage rate, and current balances. LOOK AT IT> Stop using the cards that have the highest %rate as well as any credit cards that you have used more than 35% of the available credit. STOP. Put them away. Start paying off the higest interest credit cards first- and pay as much as you can, the minimum payment is NOT enough.


2) For 1 month write down in a notebook everything you spend money on -the kid's lunch money, rent, gasoline, gum, gifts, every latte, everything. This will make you aware of your spending choices and allow you to gain control.


3) Look at your spending and identify what your fixed costs are- these you cannot change (Rent, car payment, etc) How much of your take home pay is left over after these are paid?


4) Create a budget and stick to it.

5) Decrease your variable expenses (groceries, electricity, gifts, etc) any way you can. Use coupons, barter, shop at thrift stores.

6) If you are not making enough to pay off your bills and save for retirement, find ways to make more money- a second job or have a garage sale!


Remember- it is NEVER to late to get back on track!